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One morning I went to get my 5-year old son out of bed. When he was fully awake I asked him what he wanted for breakfast and if he would like porridge. His response still resonates in my head. “Yeah, make me some fucking porridge.” Excuse me? What did you just say? He looked at me as innocent as you please, “I said make me some fucking porridge.” And that’s how I ended up wearing orange as my new black. Just kidding.

From my previous post about the kids penis comments, I won’t blame you if you think I have precocious boys who are exposed to mature content. I assure you that’s not the case. We are a church-going family and we screen everything they watch on tv, or at least try to. Neither myself nor my wife use profanities. So where did this come from?

I asked him where he heard the word, thinking maybe my foul-mouthed in-laws. I was wrong. He heard it by sneaking out of his room one night and watching what we were watching on tv while we thought he was asleep. He had no idea of the connotation behind the word and promised never to utter it again. That was almost a month ago and he has kept that promise.