I love people watching. I especially like to take in the sight of eye candies. You know that beautiful damsel in your vision? But do you know what’s better than even watching beautiful women? Watching other men watching beautiful women. The way they peer and Leer like a hungry dog seeing food heading his way. I hope I don’t look like that to other people watching people watching people.
While working out today at the gym I thought, “Jeez God, why didn’t you give us great bods to begin with and save us the trouble of working out? Just think with all that time we spend at the gym could be spent worshiping you. Now look at us? Spending hours in a stupid gym, lifting inanimate objects and doing weird exercises. Next time God, next time…”
Another legend is gone. Joan Rivers was indeed a legend. Not too many like her left. As I think about her life and her death, I couldn’t resist thinking to myself that if they were to dig her up years from now, she would still look the same. Now don’t go saying I’m making fun of the dead! Joan herself would say the same thing as she was the best at poking fun of herself and all her plastic. May you rest in peace, Joan Rivers. We loved you.
Yesterday evening, I was hanging out on a Boston Pizza patio with two of my guy friends and a gal pal chatting and enjoying some drinks. While thus engaged, five ladies walked in. They were of different shapes, sizes and looks. All were beautiful in their own ways. We evaluated them and presented out ‘who would you choose’ list. Yes, even our gal pal did too. My female friends are cool like that, my wife and I check out both sexes while out and about and we comment on their eligibility if you know what I mean. Not like we are kinky or anything…
While we were still debating the merits of our choices, a car pulled up in the parking lot and out jumped a lovely damsel in a nice body-hugging evening dress! Our gal pal commented on her butt and we all agreed she had it going on. She was with her guy so no words were said. All thoughts of the prior ladies were forgotten. Again we all stared and commented. Yes, our gal pal too.
About half an hour later, two ladies moved into the vacant table next to us. Well dammit! The candies kept getting better! How is that possible? Where does it end? They even trumped the damsel in the evening dress. We all sat in silence for a moment knowing what each other was thinking.
Isn’t that weird that as hot as someone is, there’s always someone hotter and someone even hotter than the one that’s hotter.
You know how women always give us men crap for not paying attention to their changes in appearance? For example, failing to notice the new do or weight loss? Well I have a good one for you.
I have always had a mustache. A few months ago I shaved it off just for something different. I have kept it off since. My wife never noticed the sudden change when I shaved it all off, surprisingly. She never said a word. Then last week, because I like to change things up, I decided back to the stache I go. After a couple of days’ growth my wife looked suddenly at me as though she’d never seen me before or I’d just crawled out of a hole or a stepped down from a UFO. “when did you start growing a stache, get rid of it!” I explained that I always had one and this was just a few day’s growth. “Get rid of it” she ordered.
See? Women! I did get rid of it but that’s not the point…
I almost bought a back scratcher the other day. Seemed like an awesome idea. Then I realized that when I am home my kids or wife could scratch my back and when I am out there’s no damn way I am going to pull out a back scratcher in public. Just not cool. So no that awesome idea.
The debate on whether school girls should dress more conservatively rages on. Some say that the schools have no right to tell the girls to hide their midriffs and bra straps and maybe be more careful so as not to give the boys a glimpse of their undergarments. Nothing turns a boy on like the sight of a thong. Oh never mind, that’s me.
On a rare serious note, I am jealous of these school boys. In my day we dropped our pencils on the floor in order to catch a peek up our teachers’ dress as she sat facing us. Yes, I know. We were pigs! I promise you, I am not like that anymore. SERIOUSLY! I AM NOT!! As boys, we would do just about anything, every trick in the book to see up a dress or down a blouse. The sight of a bra strap would set our tongues wagging. “Look at Adriana’s bra! I can see it!’ Again, my apologies, I was one horny little boy.
Could you then imagine if we were in schools where the girls dressed like they do now? Man oh man! A buffet for sore eyes! No need to drop coins or pencils. No need to be covert. I can only imagine. The girls now wear their undergarments as overgarments. It’s not cool if some skin isn’t showing. Those lucky pricks! And thank goodness that I only have boys. Someone would be getting a
beating err…um…talking to.
Girls, you are beautiful without the advertisement. Cover it up please. Keep them guessing.