It’s Friday! So what? Go out there and work as though it was Tuesday. It will still be Friday when you are done and you could take two days off. Remember, no cruising because it’s Friday.
So is it just in my head or are every guy in my workplace suffering from diarrhea? Why? Well every time I am in a stall, just sitting there texting or blogging, taking a break from my desk, the person in the next stall always sound like they are dying while giving birth! I never knew the human anus could produce such unearthly sounds!
Know what I do when that happens? I peer under the divider (yes I know, creepy) to see what shoes they are wearing so I could identify the poor diarrhea-stricken fella if I see him walking the hallways. Maybe I could recommend a stool hardener or something. Anything. No luck so far but then I haven’t been trying too hard.
I would he embarrassed as hell if I made those sounds while in earshot. It seems as though they are oblivious to my presence. I wonder, could it very well be the same person?
Sometimes I get depressed and have suicidal thoughts but my life is so full that I’m always so darn busy. I don’t even have time to research a good suicidal method. Heck, even if I got around to that, I would have to put it on the back burner, on my ever-growing things-to-do list. Looking at my sched, I don’t think I even have any spare time for the next 30 plus years! I am just way too busy!
Yesterday I told a co-worker that in all my years of working, I have never missed work once. He looked at me with ‘that’ look and replied with, “Yeah right, whatever.” I explained further. “I have been away from work or late but when I’m away, I never miss work.” You got it? He did.
I don’t swear. I find it dumb and ignorant and shows that the speaker has a limited vocabulary. At my job that I have been almost a year, everyone swears. They swear about everything and anything and I just ignore it. They would ask me for stuff by saying, “Where is the effing stuff?” “It’s coming.” I would reply calmly. Until yesterday.
Yesterday was when I decided when in Rome do as the Romans do, can’t beat em, so join em. I had had enough of the crude and disrespectful comments. I was asked, “Where is the effing stuff?” My response was swift. “Eff you and your effing stuff!” I said it like a pro. You would have been proud. Well since then, it seemed like I was more respected! WTF! Today, I did it again. Tomorrow I will too. At this rate, they are gonna love me around here, but you know what? Eff em!
I have always heard that a few minutes of exercise a day could do wonders for you. Now I am hearing that if you work at a desk job, like I do, where you sit all day, even a few hours a day of workout won’t negate the negative effects. Now where does that leave me? Do I even bother working out? If it’s going to be a waste of time then I could use that workout time for something more worthwhile.